Harry cracks corporate India!

Let talk about Harry.

Not his real name, of course, which is probably something like Hariprasad, Hariom, Harivansh or Harshwardhan, which got shortened by his fellow American students during his Masters in the US. And it stuck, staying with him as he started working in that large US MNC. While he didn’t add much real value to the org , he was still a great fit  as that South Asian face in group pics. Besides, Harry was popular with his bosses, whom he referred to as ‘Sir’ or ‘Madam’.

 Then, the 90s came along. Biz started getting tough, even for muscular, IP-heavy orgs like his. The bosses were pulled out of their honeymoons & asked to find new shores. Among other far-off exotic markets, India was making interesting headlines, cautiously opening up its economy. The bosses, who otherwise had no clue about India, knew but that they had just the right person for the job.

 Harry ( now an American citizen) blushed and actually had tears in his eyes as he gave his ‘humbled & honored’ acceptance speech in the 3rd floor conference room!

 And soon landed at an Indian airport ( having flown biz class) with his wife , two kids ( with American accents) & an expat salary that elevated his lifestyle several layers above what he was used to in the American suburb. So Harry would now get driven around by a uniformed chauffeur in a BMW , his wife would join the social circuit in  Vasant Vihar or South Bombay & the kids would get to retain their accent in their new American school. Now, while Harry’s pay was almost criminally high by Indian standards, it was peanuts when it showed up in a corner of their boss’s PPT page that explained a 10-year market entry strategy into the  ‘tough Indian market’.

Harry 2.0 hit the ground running! Which basically meant that he was jet-setting across the country ( and garnering points for his platinum memberships at hotel chains and  select airlines), was being invited ( by virtue of being a country rep for a big US org) to industry forums where he’d ‘pitch’ flashy decks made by smart MBA interns. He was now frequently seen cutting ribbons and smiling at the media during CSR events. By now, he had also managed to beg for a small budget for a PR leader ( let’s call her Sally, for the sake of gross stereotyping). Now, Harry & Sally really made a splash! Endless budgets ( by Indian standards), delicious media coverage & loads of MOUs being signed ( which would yield ZERO real biz, but made Harry’s bosses beam like proud parents). In his free hours ( which were a lot), Harry devoured management literature & mastered his ‘leadership philosophy’ that he started dishing out at company townhalls where unsuspecting employees started hero-worshipping him.

(There is also a small episode involving some domestic unrest at Harry’s home because of his frequent travels with Sally. But as these are unsubstantiated rumors, I’m not getting into that!).

The years pass. The market gets tough. The bosses retire ( some die). Harry is under pressure to show some real work now. The problem is, he simply cannot, because he’s never worked for a single day during his 2.0. And he’s petrified of being called back to the US, drive 70 miles to work & have a sandwich for lunch. He desperately needs a Plan B.

And suddenly it all falls in place! Harry chooses to ‘retire’ & write a book! Sally ( now, just a good friend) agrees that it’s a great idea, and works out a deal with a leading publisher. Harry even manages to get one of his ex-bosses to write a foreword and give a TV interview, praising Harry’s ‘leadership style’. The book sells exactly 160 copies ( mostly to Harry’s friends, relatives & ex-colleagues). But, by now, Harry has been re-branded!

Enter Harry 3.0! Management Guru & Influencer who can give impromptu lectures on any subject under the sun – from setting up an industry to battling insomnia to finding spiritual equilibrium!

Harry’s wife, meanwhile, comes up with a memoir too – something to do with ‘how to be a pillar of strength for an icon & also find time to give back to society’. And his sons ? They’re back in the US ( their accents intact). Harry & his wife plan to join them too, but they want to give India a few more years.

Harry’s erstwhile org has finally found a footing in India, thanks to some home-grown talent who have slowly steadied the ship. They had once contemplated inviting Harry to the board out of respect, but finally decided against it. But Harry never fails to show up at their annual events where he circulates among the younger employees, sharing anecdotes from his ‘days in the trenches’ when he set up their org from scratch in India. The youngsters request him for selfies, and Harry graciously obliges.

Last heard – Harry plans to write an autobiography. He’s undecided on the title. He consulted me in private. I suggested ‘Cutting Ribbons’ to him. He seemed offended. And blocked me on WhatsApp.

----------------------------

(Ayon’s Blog ©)

 Though this post is a fun Friday post, you probably spotted some Harry you know, in it. Some people, as they say, have all the luck ! Now, please leave comments and get back to work!)

---------------------------