Collect feedback to build connection

In a rustic office with exposed red brick walls and vintage pallet wood paneling, Gemma stands in front of a work desk with a laptop. Have you ever wondered how others view and think about you? It's something that I've thought about a thousand times, and I'll be honest, it always really intrigues me to find out how others view me. For example, I'm always hopeful that when I'm coaching, I'll come across as positive and supportive, even when I'm really challenging my clients. But I often have to check in with the other person to make sure that's the case. There have been times where I've had to adjust my approach based on how they perceive what I'm saying and my intentions. An illustration shows an older white man with gray hair and a sweater vest talking to a group of five diverse people. Titled, Ask others how they perceive you. The only way to truly understand how others perceive you is to get their insights. We return to the instructor. And I understand how difficult that is. Sometimes it's more comfortable to live in a bubble of not asking for feedback. We can fear how others may perceive us, which in turn can play into our emotional reactions. Above the previous illustration text reads, listen to feedback without getting self-critical or defensive. Being emotionally flexible, however, means being able to listen to feedback and appreciate the points of view without being overly self-critical or defensive. We return to the instructor. Gathering feedback on yourself is one of the most useful techniques to help you grow. And the great thing about it is there's no skill or preparation required. You just have to ask others for their opinion. Sometimes you'll get a gem of a piece of feedback that may spur you on. Or it may be a gem because it's pointing out something you weren't aware of. You can only grow and get better interacting with others if you have their perspective, so don't hide from it. A list is titled Review Refine, Repeat. Point one, review how you manage relationships. One simple technique you can use to help you understand how others see you is the review, refine, repeat process. The first step is to review how you manage relationships currently. And the best way to do this is to gather feedback. We return to the instructor. Choose a few colleagues or friends and ask them for their feedback on how you maintain and build relationships. If you need any pointers, you might want to consider questions such as, In an illustration, a white woman in a green T-shirt talks to a group of four diverse people. Above them are quotes. "How do I generally come across to others?" How do you think I generally come across to others? Text, "How would you describe me when I'm in a team environment?" How would you describe me when I'm in a team environment? Text, "What am I good at when it comes to interacting with other people?" Is there anything specific I'm good at when it comes to interacting with other people. Text, "What could I tweak to get better at building and maintaining relationships?" Are there any areas I could tweak to get better at building and maintaining relationships? We return to the instructor. While sometimes feedback may be a little tough to hear, we may be a bit surprised. Gathering another perspective is always useful, even if you don't totally agree. The feedback you receive isn't a fact, it's an opinion. And the more opinions you can gather, the more of a rounded perspective you'll get of how you come across. Try not to get too hung up on one person's opinion. Instead, try to get a range of opinions to give you a broad perspective of how you come across to others. Title, Review, Refine, Repeat. Point two, refine your approach to relationships. The next step in a continuous development process is to refine some of your approach. One small step at a time. We return to the instructor. Over time as you make small adjustments, these small steps will compound to create big results. What may seem like a small tweak or minor adjustments to approach now over time may have a huge impact on building your emotional intelligence. Title, Review, Refine, Repeat. Point three, repeat the process. Finally, repeat the process. We're all on a journey and we're all a work in progress to some extent. So you can always repeat the continuous development process and get better at building relationships and communicating effectively. We return to the instructor. Repeating this simple process will be a key factor in developing your emotional intelligence. Taking the emotion out of it and not perceiving feedback as emotional allows you to turn it into a process. First, review how you are perceived. Second, refine and mak tweaks to ensure you come across in a productive and empathetic way. Third, repeat the process again and again. This three step approach also helps you to create a continuous development cycle where you're constantly improving your relationship with others. So how will you build a continuous improvement process into your working life? Do you already use the review refined repeat concept? How can you use this simple tool to help you on your emotional intelligence journey?