In conflict resolution, acknowledging someone’s concerns shows you are engaged and willing to understand the root cause of the issue. Validation then helps de-escalate tensions by affirming that the person’s emotions are valid, regardless of whether you agree with their perspective. Think about how things would look from the perspective of the referee in the sandbox. Often times its more situational than personal. By focusing on the facts and removing emotional biases, we create a space where both parties can come together and find common ground.

As a rule, tension in a conflict quickly begins to build up and reaches a peak, emotions can overwhelm the participants and interfere with the search for a solution. A mediator helps to relieve tension by creating a safe space for dialogue and guiding the conversation in a constructive direction. It is important to vent emotions, giving the parties the opportunity to speak out, but not allow emotions to take over. By separating people and the problem, the mediator focuses on finding a solution. In a cross-cultural environment, the mediator must take into account differences in the perception of conflict and how to resolve it. Respect for these features helps to avoid escalation of the conflict and find a mutually beneficial solution.

The first step in such a meeting is to stay calm and avoid engaging emotionally with others, as this would only escalate the tension. It’s essential to separate people from the issue at hand, validate their emotions, and ensure they feel heard and valued—regardless of whether you agree with them. As the mediator, your role is to facilitate a balanced, back-and-forth conversation where all parties feel safe to express their points. You can achieve this by using neutral language and summarizing key points to de-escalate tension. It’s important to be firm and maintain control, but in a way that does not sound hostile or resentful. Only by fostering a respectful and open dialogue can you guide the group toward a practical, lasting solution.

In an ideal scenario, a skilled facilitator can channel the passion of both sides, fostering active listening, mutual acknowledgment, and a path toward a win-win solution. When this happens, utopia, and often results in business relationships you cherish for the rest of your career. However, when the stakes are high, professionalism can falter, and emotions often take the lead. Mastering the art of restraint is just as critical as taking decisive action. Know when to be silent. Know when to pause and reflect. Know when to walk away. I have achieved the right outcome just as often by standing still as I have by charging ahead.