You're struggling to resolve a conflict at work. How can you stay patient and get the outcome you want?

1 Identify the problem

The first step to resolving a conflict is to understand what it is about. Is it a factual disagreement, a personal issue, a communication breakdown, or a value clash? Try to define the problem clearly and objectively, without blaming or judging anyone. Ask yourself what you want to achieve, what you are willing to compromise on, and what your non-negotiables are.

2 Listen actively

The next step is to listen to the other party's perspective and feelings. This does not mean you have to agree with them, but you have to acknowledge them and show respect. Active listening involves asking open-ended questions, paraphrasing what you hear, and expressing empathy. By doing this, you can demonstrate that you care about the relationship and the outcome, and that you are willing to work together.

3 Focus on solutions

Once you have both shared your views and needs, you can start looking for solutions that satisfy both parties. Avoid getting stuck on positions or demands, and instead focus on interests or motivations. Try to find common ground, mutual benefits, or creative alternatives. Use positive and cooperative language, such as "we", "us", and "let's". If possible, involve the other party in generating and evaluating options, and ask for their feedback and suggestions.

5 Seek support

Sometimes, you may need some help to resolve a conflict at work. You can seek support from a trusted colleague, a mentor, a coach, or a mediator. They can offer you advice, feedback, or guidance, or they can facilitate the dialogue between you and the other party. However, be careful not to involve too many people or gossip about the conflict, as this can damage your reputation and relationships.

6 Follow up

The last step is to follow up on the resolution and make sure it is implemented and maintained. You can do this by setting clear and realistic expectations, agreeing on action steps and deadlines, and monitoring the progress and results. You can also check in with the other party regularly, give and receive feedback, and celebrate achievements. By following up, you can ensure that the conflict is resolved in a lasting and satisfying way.