Comment pouvez-vous gérer les conversations difficiles en face à face ?

As tempting as it may be to send out a detailed email regarding a difficult topic in the workplace, it’s often far better to have a face to face meeting in a majority of circumstances. Email certainly has its uses but isn’t particularly effective for challenging conversations, such as discussions relating to conflicts or personal performance issues.

If you’re giving any sort of presentation -- from a casual one in front of three people to a formal one before the entire buying committee -- ask for access to the room beforehand so you can set up. Run through your slides a few times, test the lighting and acoustics, and make sure all your tech works. Taking these precautions will alleviate your stress (so you’ll sound more confident) and help you avoid embarrassing and/or time-consuming issues during the presentation itself.

Whenever it can be avoided, make sure you don't surprise someone with a difficult conversation. Instead, make plans with them to talk at a time that works for both of you. When you give someone time to mentally prepare for such a conversation, they are more likely to have reflected on what they want to say or ask and be more emotionally centered - both things that will help increase the likelihood of a good outcome. You can also do this, to some degree, when you absolutely have to have the conversation there and then by letting them know that you have something difficult to talk to them about when you start the conversation. Even if that only gives them a few seconds to take a breath and prepare, it's better than going straight into it.

Give your counterpart your full attention, and truly digest what they have to say. How much more would you understand about what’s being said in a meeting if you were to single-mindedly focus on the conversation? You can do this more easily by leaving your devices off the table and taking margin notes in meetings. This type of note-taking allows you to pay attention to the speaker and temporarily park your own ideas that may interfere with your listening.

There is no doubt that being an effective listener in a difficult conversation is critical so that you can understand what the other person is thinking and feeling. However, there is another part of a difficult conversation that is equally important and that is the other person also needs to hear your point of view. This means that knowing how to express yourself and tell them your story is also critical. You may think that knowing how to express yourself in a difficult conversation is highly dependent on how good of an orator you are.